


bring all your hurt

by seesawthefourth



Category: ASTRO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hands, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Piano
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29401791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seesawthefourth/pseuds/seesawthefourth
Summary: whatever he does, he can't make music out of the piano anymore.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo
Kudos: 4





	bring all your hurt

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this years ago when i was half sleep. so i had to edit it, which i never do.

his hands still tremble when he plays music so soft that he can feel its tremors into his bones. it rattles him, like earthquakes shake man made relics into dust and makes the feeling of loosing grip on everything worse. his hands tremble and music comes out shaky, sopardic and he knows he's dissatisfied. 

he feels like a caged bird, looking into a world he can't reach through the golden gilded bars of the prison begging for someone to hear, to help him. his hands tremble and his heart trembles with it. 

the ache in his bones start to make itself known and the shaking intensifies but still he plays and music rises loud and jarring into the room. it's the opposite of the soft, melochonic and hesitant way he had been playing before but now he can't seem to shake it off. 

he plays and he plays and his soul trembles, screaming and crying. the bars on the cage grow thicker and thicker and he's a canary wanting to croon, a bird wanting to fly over a mirorred lake with wings spread wide and free. but he can never be free. 

his music comes to a halt. 

can he even call it music? it's loud, disgusting in the way it bounces over the silent room. bounces and makes his ears ache. 

he bites his tongue, lets the pain flow and give him something to latch onto. he starts playing again and pain grows and grows and his hands keeps trembling and music keeps stuttering. 

he wants the soft notes of before, the music beautiful and enchanting and worth glancing. he's worse then a novice, a child who has never send a piano in his life ramming at keys he doesn't know how to play. 

he feels he can't breath, that everything from shattering hearts and trembling fingers and terrible music is catching up to him. he can't breath and there's poison curling in the ear, whispering words which crumble his already broken heart but he can't move away because he's stuck in a cage, a beautiful golden cage with a broken harp and miles and miles of freedom beyond. his heart stutters. 

he rams his fingers with increasing anger to the music, and the noise it creates is jarring. it hurts him, it kills him. makes him feel unlike himself. 

he feels broken, like a bird without voice, without wings. dissatisfied. 

he wonders how he got here, in the room with the lonely piano and even lonier painting. 

the painting stares at him, baring holes into his very being. it's picture of a man looking like he's on top of the world, confident in himself and unbroken. his face is half hidden in shadow but he can feel the satisfaction roll off of him.

it's like he's taunting with that pleased look in his eye, the smug curl on his lips as he smiles. 

repulsion rises within him and anger feels thick in his throat but when he tries to speak, he chokes.  
his fingers are trembling as emotions rise higher and higher in a cresondro. anger, sadness, loneliness merging together like some kind of atomic bomb, spilling in his heart and flooding his veins. his knees nearly buckle when he tries to stand up but its enough and he leaps forward to claw at the painting . 

its just paper and dried paint and its shreds away, in ribbons and pieces on the floor from his sharp nails. he should cut them but who would care about his fingers anymore. 

he's alone, lonely in a world he had thought he'd conquered. 

that's how jeongguk finds him, shrieking and crying and in a heap in front of the painting. he looks put together, with halo of light above his head and wings of barbed wire fluttering behind him. he's looks normal, the complete opposite of him, of eunwoo who can barely grasp reality. 

concern and worry color his eyes and servents peek in from behind the shoulders of the master of the house with wide, horrifying eyes but eunwoo doesn't care anymore. he's just a caged bird, a destroyed bird. he's nothing anymore. 

but jeongguk for some reason crouches beside him, takes his trembling hands into his own and massages them. there's blood on the fingers, in his nails and knuckles and something causes him to look back and see the paino keys bloody and the painting still dripping. 

he shudders, like a leaf in wind. but jeongguk's hands are warm and he latches onto the feeling. it gets better when his hands come to brush his wet cheeks. oh what he would do without his jailor, so compenent in ways of keeping him alive and yet so alone. 

he trembles and shakes and screams when he notices someone move forward from behind the door, the servants scattering around ang giving him berth. it's jaehyun, he knows its jaehyun and he doesn't give a shit about him. he had done this to him, him and mingyu in the dirt and minghao still sedated on drugs. 

he lurches, anger clawing at his throat again, pooling in his stomach like lava, white hot and insistent in ways he hadn't felt before. he wants to claw his eyes out, dig his bloody fingers into his sockets and pluck them out and pull them away. step on them and kill him, maim him, mursery him. do something to him, something permanent, a memory which will haunt him till his dying breath. 

but before he can reach him, jeongguk soothing presence has turned hostile and he's keeping his hands wrapped around his shoulders. he's glaring at him, the concern like a brand he wants to not see again.

"eunwoo settle down". jeongguk says, turning away with a look which a shiver to go down its spine. jaehyun doesn't deserve that hostile glare, he deserves more. "you should stay in your quarters until everything settles down jae". hes tells him like he believes eunwoo wouldn't look for him if he's stays put. like eunwoo would let go of him now that he knows he's here to, shut inside a beautiful prison with chains made of jewels and sweet nothings. 

and how can he let go when eunwoo is nothing anymore and his hands tremble and he wants to breakdown and rage and feel lonely every single fucking moment of his life. live with the ache of fame, of love and awe he had before, before it was flipped and horror and pity greeted him in faces of his patrons. 

jaehyun leaves but the door stays ajar for him to see the retreating gossip of the staff and he wishes jeongguk would fire them already, he should after all eunwoo had tried to be such a good prisoner, such a good boy who ate everything he was given and did everything he was asked. 

well, except what he had done now. but he had wanted to see something other then the dining room, the hospital and his bedroom. if jeongguk's bedroom had come a bit earlier, he would've gone there and pulled everything apart like animal's intensives they had eaten for lunch. 

in silence his voice rings and his hands on jeongguk's twitches. "why did you do that, i needed to speak to him. you had no right -". he finds that he's panting, out of breath. 

"i'll take you to your room". he pushes him up and eunwoo has no energy to try and pull away, feeling it drain out of him from the fit of rage he had went through.

still he looks back, at the piano, at the sleek instrument covered in his drying blood - somehow still looking imposing amd out of reach, shiny black in a backdrop of blue grandma's wallpaper. 

he stares look enough for the instrument to blur, thinking wishing that if he'll bang his head against it he'll get everything back. then he wouldn't be here anymore, he'll be outside with his still fingers and nad freedom and he could put the others in the same cage as his, pull them apart like they had with him and cut their wings off with rusted scissors.

"come on eunwoo". he pleads. 

but eunwoo has no energy anymore and he turns pliant in his hold when jeongguk pulls him up and into his arms. 

he feels week, like a damsel, an injured bird as jeongguk carries him out but his hands are still quivering and anger is a rousong emotion.

he blurs his surroundings, not wanting to see the gilded wallpaper lead him back to his prison. he closes his eyes, grabs jeongguk's shirt tight enough that he's sure his nails are digging into his skin and lulls him back into his pen. 

he's puts him back on his bed like he's weightless and the bed is where he belongs. its contristics him and makers him feel breathless again. 

the door closes shut behind them but jeongguk stays. he's close to him, too close and eunwoo can see the gold flecks in his brown eyes and scratch at the beauty mark under his lip and watch it come back crimson. but wouldn't it look good on him, the red. it might make him feel better and he'll be able to see him eye on eye on things he definitely didn't need. 

"how did you get in? i had the door locked", he asked. his hands were crossed in front of him and he sat on his bed, staring at him like he'll spill everything to him because he looked stern. 

he smiles cryptly, feeling satisfaction finally, finally bloom in the way he knew it how to: sadistic and sad and angry. he smiles, looks away from the angel who sits beside him, into the distance he doesn't know yet - at the window which looks into the sky. " you cant hide anything from me, jeongguk. you just can't".

**Author's Note:**

> do you think eunwoo was an unreliable narrater cause that is what it was supposed to be lmao.
> 
> real summary: eunwoo got in a accident (jaehyun was driving the car) and now he can't play the piano. the bones in his hands were broken and his hands now tremble. jeongguk is his boyfriend who is taking care of him and thus, you know 'caging' him in. eunwoo os still in a denial phase as its just a month after the surgery and such.
> 
> so like leave a kudo, cause i tried.


End file.
